a/n: this was meant for Sho-day (and to Sho-wifey), however with the chaotic schedule and suddenly down with high fever, I'm late ='(
This fic has three part: [His Side], [Her Side] and [Their Side].
This is the first part, [His Side]. I'm away for Sat&Sun, therefore the most earliest i can upload the 2nd and 3rd part will be on Monday (most probably). Completed!^^
Owh~ Blame my over-concentration on one of their *Secret Talk* that I decided to write this.
Warning: It's sad. Well, maybe. I want it to be sadder but my mind cannot work out anything beyond this. (Thank you Akane-chan for approving this ^^ )
Another warning: Horrible choices of words, tenses and grammar. All over the place. English is NOT my 1st language.*duh*
As usual, fail at choosing the right title, AGAIN!
Second Part : [Her Side] - The Promise
Third Part : [Their Side] - The Departure
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[TIME]
[His Side] - The Secret
He congratulates himself for being able to arrive first that evening. He walks slowly as he passes the main entrance of the small park towards its centre. He hung his head low, both hands inside his pocket and carefully counting his steps on the ground. The weather was cold as it is already winter. He had layers of clothes under his coat and a red scarf around his neck, to keep him warm but deep inside his heart, he was cold.
“This is it” he inhales a deep breath as he step further into the park. It is just like any other normal Friday evening except that the park was almost deserted since its freezing.
He took a bench at their usual meeting point, at the centre of the park with a small fountain in front of him, spraying out water synchronized to a certain rhythm. His eyes fell on the water for a moment before he realizes a familiar figure slowly approaching him from the pathway.
“Hi” he forced himself to smile. She smiled back at him, broadly, as always.
“It’s been quite sometimes”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy lately” he apologizes.
“It’s okay. I understand” she smiled and places herself beside him on the bench. “It’s cold” she whined.
He look at her for a moment before snuggle closer, wrapping a hand around her waist. He brought her closer to his side but was startled when she lightly pushed his hand away.
“Better keep the distance. Someone might see us” she explains, seeing his eyes wondering around hers.
“It’s deserted. No one’s here”
“Better be safe than sorry” she said.
He took a deep breathe before parting his hands away.
Both of them fell into their own space. She was fidgeting her fingers nervously whilst he rested his chin on both of his hands.
Of all the things, this is what he really didn’t want to do.
His manager words echoed inside his head as his mind trailed off to what is the real reason for meeting her today.
It’s the reminder he and his friends been given long before he met her.
“As a Johnny’s, need I remind you guys that the title means you need to behave yourselves. Maintain your reputation. No gossips, scandals or any funny business behind our back” their manager had once said.
“No love either. Better yet, no girls. Period. Believe me. They’ll just ruin your life afterwards” the experienced man said straight face.
Love.
Yes, the forbidden word.
Yet, he fall in love. It’s not him to be blame. Or even hers. Because love is something that he have no control to.
He’s the one who’d ask, no, begging her to be his girlfriend. She was one hard girl to get closer with. She’d give him cold shoulder when he smiled at her. She’d stare at him, blank face every time he tried talking to her. She’d quickly gather her books and move from her place every time he sat near her. She’d pretend talking to someone else when he tried asking her a question. She’d deliberately change her path whenever they came across each others’. She’d even willing to do her presentation alone when they end up being paired together.
He thought she hated him.
But in between that, sometimes he caught her stealing glances at him when he was talking to his friends. He’d sure she was smiling whenever he made jokes or laughing loudly in front of the class. He’d even sure that every time he made a presentation up front, she’ll listen to every words he’d said.
He gave in when he was damn positive that she pouted when he talks to their girls classmate or when one or two fangirl flirting with him.
And then he had confessed. Not one, but five times.
The first time, she rejected him blankly in front of his face. Well, it was his own fault to confess when she was annoyed after seeing him with some girl in some corner even when he’d swear that they didn’t do anything even though there was a pink lip gloss smeared messily across his lips.
The second time, he wrote her a note. Yeah, typical. He knew. He slipped the envelope into her notebook when she wasn’t around. He smiled when he found an envelope inside his locker later that evening, only to found out that it was his original note to her and his ‘I like you’ was crossed and the paper was torn into tiny pieces.
He thought third was the charm. He prepared everything. Smartly dressed, a well prepared speech, a bright smile and a bouquet of roses to complete the event. He even came an hour early because he knew she always early to college. He waited and waited the entire day but in the end she didn’t show up.
Fourth time was the worst. He’d choose a wrong time and at a wrong place. He waited for her in front of the ladies before the evening class. He’d even practiced what he wanted to say to her. A few girls gave him funny stares as he paced back and forth. He was squatting in front of the door after twenty minutes of waiting when she stumbles out and startled to see him in front of her face. He was more shocked than her because of her teary eyes and red nose. She glares at him.
“What?” she asked annoyed.
He gulped down a few times before blurting out ‘I like you’
He can’t even remember what her reply was. All he heard was a high pitch screamed and being dragged by the security to the office. He was being accused of sexual harassment. He shook his head to every single accusation, saying that he meant no harm. He’d just wanted to talk.
Then, she came forward. Saying that it was a misunderstanding. She was sad because she flunks her test and he was there to talk to her, as a friend.
He smiled at her in thank you afterwards. But she just stomps away.
He thought he completely gave up after that incident. But he wasn’t.
It was after the fifth confession that she finally accepted him.
But not before he grabbed her by the waist and pinned her against the empty hallway, challenging her to stare into his eyes and whispered ‘I love you’ before he lean forward to claim her full lips and was relief when she responded to his kiss.
Just like that, they become a couple.
All this happens two years after the reminder.
He thought everything will work out his way. After all, their relationship is moving towards the 9th years.
But, it wasn’t.
He was thinking of how he wanted to break the news to her. The secrets were leaked and had come to his managers’ ears. He was forced to confess everything.
And he did.
“Let me get straight to the point” his manager said seriously. “It’s about this” the old man handed an envelope in front of his nose.
What’s inside the envelope was something he’s been afraid of for the past nine years.
A picture of him kissing her, passionately.
“How-?” his voice stuck inside his throat.
“How is not the question here and also I do not want to know the why or when this started too” he said puffing his cigar.
“Is this serious?” his manager asks, pointing at the picture.
He didn’t respond.
“Of all your friends, you’re the least I suspected to involve in such situation” he sighed. “You know this is not allowed in the agency”
He nodded his head.
“And yet?” the manager continues.
“I fell in love” he finally spoke.
The old man sighed before puffing his cigar again. He stares at the young idol. Sakurai Sho is one of the promising assets that the agency has and they will do anything to keep their asset from liquidates.
“You know what to do, Sho-san. Johnny-san didn’t know about this, yet. But you understand better that nothing skip his eyes and ears. Most probably the news already travels to his office right now” his manager said thoughtfully.
“But-“
“We are not here to argue. It’s her or your career” his manager said before leaving him alone.
He doesn’t understand why.
It’s no big deal actually because ever since he’s with her, he never jeopardized his work. He manages to maintain everything and sort it out in order. He worked hard and people praise him for his workmanship. Seeing his schedule, nobody, not even his band mates, can ever predict that he actually has a relationship.
He does his work wholeheartedly. He turned up to every shooting, photoshoot, recording, interview, rehearsal in time. He accepted each and every work field without failure. He’d been in and out of the country every now and then. He even manages to be with his friends, having a wild night, watch movies, eating, talking from time to time.
When was the time he’d spent with his girlfriend?
He was known to be humble, down to earth person.
And also a person who never discuss his personal life with anybody.
And then there was the contract.
The contract that causing Satoshi Ohno so-called-threesome-encountered and pot-smoking scandals gone within 24 hours. The contract that almost causing Masaki Aiba his idol title when pictures of him with some girl leaked to the paparazzi and Jun Matsumoto being more DoS than he already had with girls. Also, it was the same contract that broke Kazunari Ninomiya’s heart when he was only sixteen, for him to end his relationship with the only girl he’d ever love. Until now, Nino never opened his heart again. He just stops believing in love completely.
A contract that prevent them to have any relationship.
A contract that they are bound to since the day they’re being a Johnnys’.
Somehow, his secret exposed.
“It’s time” she said slowly, after some times of lost in their own thoughts.
He looks up from his face, staring at her. Confused.
“To fulfill our promise” she continues.
His eyes widen by her words and his mouth formed an O of surprise. He clenched his palm nervously.
“No” he replied.
“Yes. The time is now, Sho”
“No. We can just forget about the promise” he speaks slowly, unsure himself.
“A promise is a promise. We never made that promise if it was meant to be broken”
He buried his face into his palms. Her words were too painful for him.
No. This is not what he planned. He wanted his love story to be end like any other fairytale.
Happily ever after.
Not being broken and awfully suffer from it.
“I didn’t ask for much. I just want you to fulfill your promise. Our promise. Is it too much to ask?”
“Why?” he ask trembling.
She sighed and inhales a deep breath before turning into him. “Let me ask you something, Sho and if half of it your answer is No, then you’ll definitely understand”
He clenched and unclenched his fists as he lean forward, closer to his knees. His heart pounded heavily as he waited for her questions.
“Tell me, can you be here when I need you?” she started. He tried saying something but his mouth shut closed before he even realizes it.
“As I expected…” she sighed.
“Can you be my side?” she continues.
“Can you caress me when I cried an awfully lonely nights?”
“Can you be the cure to my pain?”
“Can you be my sunshine after rain?”
“Tell me one important thing. Do you love me, Sho?”
He opened his mouth in response, but nothing came out.
“You can’t even answer the simplest question” she sighed heavily.
“That’s why this is the right time for us to depart. To our own separate ways”
No. No. No. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
But somehow he was glad that she’s the one that finally make the decisions.
He’s pathetic. He knew. Depending on other people to make choices for him. Suddenly all his confident was blown away by this particular problem.
“Your way of making decision is not to make a decision. I just make this easier for you. For us”
He cried. Really. Because her words were true.
Never in his whole life he will be able to make such decisions and broke her heart. It’s easier for him to accept that she rejected him than he’s saying we’re through to her.
He’s not going to argue because this was something that he had to do. Eventually.
“Don’t cry. We made this promise together. Now is the right time to complete it” she said terribly.
“I’m sorry” he broke down and awfully cried. He didn’t even care if she thought he was useless.
“Don’t be. I knew this is going to happen long time ago” she said, gently massaging his shoulder.
“Listen to me, Sho” she said staring deep into his eyes. “Don’t cry, okay? I want you to stand straight and walk out from here with dignity. Remember, neither of this is your fault”
“But-“
“It’s like this or we’ll never ever going to depart. Please, just walk on straight” she said, pushing him lightly towards the pathway.
He hesitates for a while, looking at her face with sad eyes.
“Go on. Don’t look back”
He took a few steps before stops.
“No. Just walk straight. Don’t you ever look back”
He took a deep breath before slowly making his way again. This time he didn’t hesitates, or even looking back.
I love you, Yuri.
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